The B.S. of Personal- and Leadership Development

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The world of self development, personal development and leadership development is filled with B.S. that does more bad then good. People get lost, stuck and frustrated from 80% of all these “teachings”.

I recently visited a conference where they played an “inspirational” video every 30 minutes. You know, the videos that features sentenced like “you create your own happiness” or “happiness is an inside job” and all kinds of misinterpreted quotes from people like Albert Einstein, Gandhi or other greats.

Some of the most stressed out, caught-up-in-their-head, tired and boring people I know, are the once that belief in this “unlock their potential” or “live up to their potential” or “work on yourself” or “create your own destiny” nonsense.

One of the problems with this “create your own destiny” paradigm is that, if misinterpreted, takes a lot of work. Trust me, I’ve been there. There were times were I meditated for 3 hours a day because I needed “work on myself”. Most stressful period of my life!

(The other problem is that there are much bigger forces at work behind the screens, while we think we are in control, but that’s a whole other can of worms…)

The truth is that “working on myself” implies that I am not Ok, and that someday, in the future, I’ll be Ok. In the meantime I have to “work on myself, and that’s a big misunderstanding that creates a lot of unhappiness.

The simple truth that people don’t see is this: it’s a trick of a busy mind to say that “I have to work on myself”. It’s a subtle trick to not be present now. We escape to the future or dwell in the past to not be here now. It’s what the ego does. Avoiding being present.

I work with so many leaders who “work on their vision” and in the meantime forget to listen to their people now. They forget to be influenced now. They forget to connect with their clients now. They are lost in a dreamworld and the fallacy of “one day”. And their business suffers immensely.

They borrow from the future but they don’t see what they already own. If I can make them see that, their business, and they, flourish like never before.

But only always.

 

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